Thursday, October 8, 2020

Mistakes Were Made (but not by me)

Mistakes Were Made (but not by me), Carol Tavris & Elliot Aronson, 2007


This book delves into the problem of cognitive dissonance. This is the psychological tension we develop when we attempt to justify something we know to be wrong. It usually happens when we make a mistake but refuse to admit it. Some of the examples they use come from false memories such as people believing they were abducted by aliens, suffering in German concentration camps, or abused by parents, etc. Other examples are prosecutors who wrongfully convicted someone yet refuse to admit to the mistake, or couples who rewrite the history of their marriage once they decide that they want a divorce. 

At the heart of the book lies the battle we all have for discovering and holding to the truth. Jesus said, "If you continue in My word, you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8.31-32). He also said the devil is "a liar," and, "the father of it" (John 8.44). This is exactly why Pilate also asked, "What is truth?" (John 18.38). The struggle to find the truth and hold it is a spiritual struggle. The authors quote Nietszche who said, “’I have done that,’ says my memory. ‘I cannot have done that,’ says my pride.” (p. 71) Our sinful natures can blind us to the truth. 

Most of the examples provided by the authors are negative. But one at the end of the book is positive. This is the famous note penned by General Dwight Eisenhower before the D-Day invasion. He prepared a short speech to be delivered in case the landing was a failure. 

Our landings in the Cherbourg - - - Omaha have failed to gain a satisfactory foothold and the troops have been withdrawn (changed to “and I have withdrawn the troops.”) 

My decision to attack at this time and place was based upon the best information available. The troops, the air and the Navy did all that bravery and devotion to duty could do. If any blame or fault attaches to the attempt, it is mine alone. July 5 


Notes and Quotes

“Cognitive Dissonance” A state of tension when one holds to psychologically inconsistent ideas or beliefs (p. 13).  

“Humans think; and because we think, dissonance theory demonstrated that our behavior transcends the effects of rewards and punishments and often contradicts them.” p. 15 (The authors have problems with behaviorism.) 

 

The authors note examples of false memories. Binjamin Wilkomirski published Fragments, a memoir of horrifying childhood experiences in concentration camps during WWII. Actually, it was all a fabrication.  

 

False memories can allow us to justify our mistakes. P. 93 

 

“It doesn’t matter how beautiful the guess is, or how smart the guesser is, or how famous the guesser is; if the experiment disagrees with the guess, then the guess is wrong. That’s all there is to it.” Physicist Richard Feynman p. 97.  


The authors address the problems of recovered-memory therapy from the 1980s and 1990s. P. 98ff 

One of the worst cases was that of the McMartin Preschool in Manhattan Beach, California.  

 

The Problem of the Benevolent Dolphin 
There are heartwarming stories of shipwrecked sailors who were nudged by dolphins to the shore. It is tempting to conclude that dolphins really like humans and will try to save them. To know this is really true, we would need to know if dolphins ever did the opposite? Have they nudged sailor out to sea so that they drown? We don’t know whether this happens because we never hear from these sailors again. P. 109 


Freud claimed that men have castration anxiety. Yet many analysts said they had never seen it. Freud’s response was that if they don’t see it in their practice, this must mean they overlooked it. P. 109 


The authors point out the problems of police interrogations based on the Reid Technique. One of the mainstays of this technique is to present false evidence to suspects. The assumption is that innocent suspects will hold their ground and stick to the truth. But in some, perhaps many cases, suspects become confused, frightened, etc. They begin agreeing with the false evidence that is presented to them. They convict themselves. P. 141ff 

 

Benjamin Franklin: “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half shut after marriage.” p. 159 

 

Buddhist Parable 

Some monks were returning to their monastery after a long pilgrimage. One day they came to a raging river and saw a beautiful woman who wanted to cross. She asked if one of them could carry her over the river. The eldest monk agreed. When the monks reached their monastery five days later, they accused the eldest monk of breaking his vows by touching a woman. He replied, “I only carried her across the river. You have been carrying her for five days.” p. 209 

 

The theory of this book, that people justify their failures or falsehoods with cognitive dissonance, can be true when it is easy to see the truth verses what is false. However, sometimes the authors delve into areas in which the truth is difficult to discern. Examples might be the Israeli/Palestinian conflict or the conflict between evolution and creation. People assume something is true and blame cognitive dissonance on anyone who disagrees with them.  

 

The Dinka and Nur tribes from the Sudan extract the upper and lower teeth of their children. The practice goes back to tetanus epidemics (lockjaw) and the need to be able to take nourishment. Even though this disease is under control, they still take out the teeth. Why? They justify it now by saying that it is more beautiful or a sign of maturity. Pp. 7 & 23 

 

Museum of Tolerance, Los Angeles 
It has two entrance doors. One is labeled “Prejudiced,” and the other is labeled “Unprejudiced.” The latter door is locked. P. 41 

 

Nietzsche: “’I have done that,’ says my memory. ‘I cannot have done that,’ says my pride.” p. 71  

 

A man travels many miles to consult the wisest guru in the land. When he arrives, he asks the wise man: “Oh, wise guru, what is the secret of a happy life?” “Good judgment,” says the guru. “But oh, wise guru,” says the man, “how do I achieve good judgment?” “Bad judgment,” says the guru. P. 213 

 

When Ronald Reagan visited the Kolmeshohe Cemetery at Bitburg, Germany. Israeli Prime Minister  Shimon Peres was not happy. Forty-nine SS officers had been buried there. However, Peres neither condemned Reagan nor minimized the concerns he had for the visit. He said, “When a friend makes a mistake, the friend remains a friend, and the mistake remains the mistake.” p. 226-227 

 

In 1944 Eisenhower decided to go ahead with D-Day. He was prepared for failure. He wrote a short speech in such a case: “Our landings in the Cherbourg - - - Omaha have failed to gain a satisfactory foothold and the troops have been withdrawn (changed to “and I have withdrawn the troops.”) 

My decision to attack at this time and place was based upon the best information available. The troops, the air and the Navy did all that bravery and devotion to duty could do. If any blame or fault attaches to the attempt, it is mine alone. July 5 

 

 

 

 

 

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