Help Me, I’ve Had a Miscarriage
Something might be wrong. The nurse is having trouble finding a heartbeat... Dread comes upon us... One of the greatest joys of life, the hope of new life and a new baby, has fallen. It’s not there. The baby has died. Why? What does this mean? How do I get through this?
Miscarriage, like any other death, is sad and painful. It is a reminder to us that this is a fallen world. But miscarriage creates other problems. What about the baby? It had no opportunity to be baptized or to hear God’s word? At least when a person dies in faith, we have the comfort of knowing they are with Jesus. What about this baby?
My wife and I suffered three miscarriages; the last two boys were about twenty weeks old. Thankfully our Christian faith helped us to bear the disappointment knowing that God is always for us. Paul said, “Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us” (Romans 5.5). Is there any more comfort that God gives in a situation like this? There is.
Martin Luther once wrote a short message titled, “Comfort for Women Who Have Had a Miscarriage.” He pointed to the unspoken prayers of the mother in which the Spirit is at work. Our hope for a baby yet to be born is more significant than we might think. He wrote: “...because the mother is a believing Christian it is to be hoped that her heartfelt cry and deep longing to bring her child to be baptized will be accepted by God as an effective prayer.” He backs this up by reminding us that Paul said: “Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered” (Romans 8.26). And again, “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen” (Ephesians 3.20-21). “Whatever a Christian sincerely prays for,” Luther goes on, “especially in the unexpressed yearning of his heart, becomes a great, unbearable cry in God’s ears.” (The full text is printed below.)
So when we receive the news of pregnancy with hope and joy and the anticipation of baptism, we can take comfort that God is just and merciful, and that this is His desire as well. Though this child had no opportunity for baptism, it had these hopes and prayers. Included in these prayers were also the words of God which its mother heard in her worship and devotions. These words also came to this baby because God’s word is more than mere sounds. God’s word is always full of power except to those who reject it. Isaiah said that God’s word will not “...return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please...” (55.11).
Lastly, God has promised to turn our sorrows into joy. Jesus said, “...and you will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will be turned into joy” (John 16.20). David said, “You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16.11). And again this promise: “He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?” (Romans 8.32).
A miscarriage takes away a lot of hopes and dreams: No cooing baby, no first steps, no silly antics, no learning, no growing, no accomplishing, etc. But God should never be underestimated. One Christian hymn says, “Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal.”* It could well be that when we get to heaven, we will meet again many beautiful people that we loved on earth. Perhaps one of the most surprising and beautiful meetings will be with the children we lost on earth. Lost only for a while on earth, but to be enjoyed forever in heaven.
* Come, Ye Disconsolate” The Lutheran Hymnal, 531
COMFORT FOR WOMEN WHO HAVE HAD A MISCARRIAGE
1542
Martin Luther
Translated by James Raun
INTRODUCTION
As preacher in the town church of Wittenberg, professor at the university, and an active church administrator, John Bugenhagen was a close associate of Luther in the Reformation. He served on the committee for Luther’s Bible translation, officiated at Luther’s wedding, and preached the sermon at Luther’s funeral.
In 1541 Bugenhagen had written an interpretation of Psalm 29 and dedicated it to King Christian III of Denmark, where he had introduced the Reformation in 1537. Before sending the manuscript to the printer, Bugenhagen showed it to Luther. Luther’s eye caught a reference to “little children” in the text, whereupon he suggested that Bugenhagen ought to add a word of comfort for women whose children had died at birth or had been born dead and could not be baptized. Bugenhagen, however, was not disposed to add such an appendix, though he did not disagree with Luther in principle. He had written what he felt God gave him to say and did not think it proper to go into this subject himself. However, he said he was willing to add any statement Luther might care to make on the subject. Luther agreed to prepare such a statement. Thus this brief but significant piece is an appendix that has outlived the book to which it had originally been attached.
This short item is a significant statement by Luther regarding the fate of children who die before they can be baptized—a borderline theological question of considerable anguish to grieving mothers. It is just such a person that Luther has in mind, not the sophomoric, speculative thinker.
Writing with pastoral concern, Luther points out that the miscarriage (where it is not due to deliberate carelessness) is not a sign of God’s anger. God’s judgment is and must remain hidden from us. Luther sees the basis for Christian consolation in the unspoken prayers of the mother in which the Spirit is at work and which sanctify the child, and in the prayers of the Christian congregation.
This item appeared in three editions of Bugenhagen’s exposition of Psalm 29, published in 1542, in five subsequent editions, and in a Latin edition. It was then incorporated in the various editions of Luther’s collected works. This translation is based on the German text, Ein Trost den Weibern, welchen es ungerade gegangen ist mit Kindergebären, in WA 53, (202) 205–208.
COMFORT FOR WOMEN WHO HAVE HAD A MISCARRIAGE
A final word1—it often happens that devout parents, particularly the wives, have sought consolation from us because they have suffered such agony and heartbreak in child-bearing when, despite their best intentions and against their will, there was a premature birth or miscarriage and their child died at birth or was born dead.
One ought not to frighten or sadden such mothers by harsh words because it was not due to their carelessness or neglect that the birth of the child went off badly. One must make a distinction between them and those females who resent being pregnant, deliberately neglect their child, or go so far as to strangle or destroy it. This is how one ought to comfort them.
First, inasmuch as one cannot and ought not know the hidden judgment of God in such a case—why, after every possible care had been taken, God did not allow the child to be born alive and be baptized—these mothers should calm themselves and have faith that God’s will is always better than ours, though it may seem otherwise to us from our human point of view. They should be confident that God is not angry with them or with others who are involved. Rather is this a test to develop patience. We well know that these cases have never been rare since the beginning and that Scripture also cites them as examples, as in Psalm 58 [:8], and St. Paul calls himself an abortivum, a misbirth or one untimely born.2
Second, because the mother is a believing Christian it is to be hoped that her heartfelt cry and deep longing to bring her child to be baptized will be accepted by God as an effective prayer. It is true that a Christian in deepest despair does not dare to name, wish, or hope for the help (as it seems to him) which he would wholeheartedly and gladly purchase with his own life were that possible, and in doing so thus find comfort. However, the words of Paul, Romans 8 [:26–27], properly apply here: “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought (that is, as was said above, we dare not express our wishes), rather the Spirit himself intercedes for us mightily with sighs too deep for words. And he who searches the heart knows what is the mind of the Spirit,” etc. Also Ephesians 3 [:20], “Now to him who by the power at work within us is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think.”
One should not despise a Christian person as if he were a Turk, a pagan, or a godless person. He is precious in God’s sight and his prayer is powerful and great, for he has been sanctified by Christ’s blood and anointed with the Spirit of God. Whatever he sincerely prays for, especially in the unexpressed yearning of his heart, becomes a great, unbearable cry in God’s ears. God must listen, as he did to Moses, Exodus 14 [:15], “Why do you cry to me?” even though Moses couldn’t whisper, so great was his anxiety and trembling in the terrible troubles that beset him. His sighs and the deep cry of his heart divided the Red Sea and dried it up, led the children of Israel across, and drowned Pharaoh with all his army,3 etc. This and even more can be accomplished by a true, spiritual longing. Even Moses did not know how or for what he should pray—not knowing how the deliverance would be accomplished—but his cry came from his heart.
Isaiah did the same against King Sennacherib4 and so did many other kings and prophets who accomplished inconceivable and impossible things by prayer, to their astonishment afterward. But before that they would not have dared to expect or wish so much of God. This means to receive things far higher and greater than we can understand or pray for, as St. Paul says, Ephesians 3 [:20], etc. Again, St. Augustine declared that his mother was praying, sighing, and weeping for him, but did not desire anything more than that he might be converted from the errors of the Manicheans5 and become a Christian.6 Thereupon God gave her not only what she desired but, as St. Augustine puts it, her “chiefest desire” (cardinem desideriieius), that is, what she longed for with unutterable sighs—that Augustine become not only a Christian but also a teacher above all others in Christendom.7 Next to the apostles Christendom has none that is his equal.
Who can doubt that those Israelite children who died before they could be circumcised on the eighth day were yet saved by the prayers of their parents in view of the promise that God willed to be their God. God (they say) has not limited his power to the sacraments, but has made a covenant with us through his word.8 Therefore we ought to speak differently and in a more consoling way with Christians than with pagans or wicked people (the two are the same), even in such cases where we do not know God’s hidden judgment. For he says and is not lying, “All things are possible to him who believes” [Mark 9:28], even though they have not prayed, or expected, or hoped for what they would have wanted to see happen. Enough has been said about this. Therefore one must leave such situations to God and take comfort in the thought that he surely has heard our unspoken yearning and done all things better than we could have asked.
In summary, see to it that above all else you are a true Christian and that you teach a heartfelt yearning and praying to God in true faith, be it in this or any other trouble. Then do not be dismayed or grieved about your child or yourself, and know that your prayer is pleasing to God and that God will do everything much better than you can comprehend or desire. “Call upon me,” he says in Psalm 50 [:15], “in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.” For this reason one ought not straightway condemn such infants for whom and concerning whom believers and Christians have devoted their longing and yearning and praying. Nor ought one to consider them the same as others for whom no faith, prayer, or yearning are expressed on the part of Christians and believers. God intends that his promise and our prayer or yearning which is grounded in that promise should not be disdained or rejected, but be highly valued and esteemed. I have said it before and preached it often enough: God accomplishes much through the faith and longing of another, even a stranger, even though there is still no personal faith. But this is given through the channel of another’s intercession, as in the gospel Christ raised the widow’s son at Nain because of the prayers of his mother apart from the faith of the son.9 And he freed the little daughter of the Canaanite woman from the demon through the faith of the mother apart from the daughter’s faith.10 The same was true of the kings son, John 4 [:46–53], and of the paralytic and many others of whom we need not say anything here.[1]
WA D. Martin Luthers Werke. Kritische Gesamtausgabe (Weimar, 1883–).
1 Luther wrote this item to be appended to Bugenhagen’s exposition of Psalm 29.
2 Cf. 1 Cor. 15:8.
3 Cf. Exod. 14:26–28.
4 Cf. Isa. 37:4.
5 As a young man Augustine (354–480) adhered to the philosophy of the Persian teacher Manes (ca.215–275), which was based on a dualism of light and darkness.
6 Confessions, 5, 8; of. F. J. She, d (trans.), The Confessions of St. Augustine (New York: Sheed and Ward, 1943), p. 931.
7 Augustine subsequently became bishop of Hippo. His thinking has played a significant role in Christian theology and had considerable influence upon Luther, who frequently quoted from his writings.
8 At this point the edition of Luther’s works by Enders (vol. XV, pp. 55–56) includes some additional material as cited in WA 53, 207, n. 1: “that he could without them [word and sacrament] and in ways unknown to us save the unbaptized infants as he did for many in the time of the law of Moses (even kings) apart from the law, such as, Job, Naaman, the king of Nineveh, Babylon, Egypt, etc. However, he did not want the law to be openly despised, but upheld under threat of the punishment of an eternal curse.
“So I consider and hope that the good and merciful God is well-intentioned toward these infants who do not receive baptism through no fault of their own or in disregard of his manifest command of baptism.
“Yet [I consider] that he does not and did not wish this to be publicly preached or believed because of the iniquity of the world, so that what he had ordained and commanded would not be despised. For we see that he has commanded much because of the iniquity of the world, but does not constrain the godly in the same way.
“In summary, the Spirit turns everything for those who fear him to the best, but to the obstinate he is obstinate” [Ps. 18:27].
9 Cf. Luke 7:11–17.
10 Cf. Matt. 15:22–28.
[1] Luther, M. (1999). Luther’s works, vol. 43: Devotional Writings II. (J. J. Pelikan, H. C. Oswald, & H. T. Lehmann, Eds.) (Vol. 43, pp. 243–250). Philadelphia: Fortress Press.
